Wow, those are so funny! that would be so fun to have as a job. I mean what would be neater than to have a job where you can twist the press around and print it any way you want? This blog is hillarious! keep posting them! :)
Here it is. I could not unblock it, so I copied and pasted it. Enjoy!!
Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
LONDON (AP)—North Korean officials have invited rock guitarist Eric Clapton to play a concert in the Communist state, a diplomat at the country’s embassy in London said Tuesday.
Clapton will be joined on stage by Kim Jong Il, who, according to an official statement, will be playing drums, bass, rhythm guitar, keyboards, triangle, gong, and making a chocolate souffle while coding a better internet browser and spinning gold from rubber bands.
NEW YORK (AP)—Mark Twain’s “Is He Dead?” is folding after a three-month run.
Looks like the answer is yes.
LOS ANGELES (AP)—With Vanity Fair sitting out this year’s celebrations, the belle of the Oscar parties was a piano playing Elton John.
Over seventy five hours went into training the piano. Attendees described it as charming and most unexpected. The piano will next appear in the West Coast touring company of Spamalot.
LUXEMBOURG (AP)—The European Court of Justice ruled Tuesday that only the tasty, crumbly cheese that has been made for some 800 years near the Italian city of Parma can legally be called Parmesan.
This ruling, coming on the heels of the Philadelphia Cream Cheese Accord of 2007, deals a significant blow to the once-lucrative international cheese black market.
HARARE, Zimbabwe (AP)—U.S. officials said Tuesday that Washington was concerned over “ominous signs” Zimbabwe was unprepared to hold free and fair elections next month.
The press conference was repeatedly interrupted by sixteen Al Gore fans chanting “TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE” over and over again.
LONGYEARBYEN, Norway (AP)—Norway opened a frozen “doomsday” vault Tuesday deep within an Arctic mountain where millions of seeds will be stored to safeguard against wars or natural disasters wiping out food crops around the globe.
Corn will be played by Scarlet Johansson, while the potato will be played by Clint Howard. Doomsday Vault: in theaters Summer 2009.
WASHINGTON (AP)—A former White House computer expert says the e-mail system used by President Bush’s top aides is a “primitive” setup that creates a “high” risk of losing data.
The expert went on to say that, nevertheless, Windows Vista had a wonderful media center built right in, and the translucent window frames were "pretty cool."
LONDON (AP)—Drug-resistant tuberculosis is spreading even faster than medical experts had feared, the World Health Organization warned in report issued Tuesday.
In a related story, the works of the great Russian novelists are selling better than ever.
NEW YORK (AP)—The company behind the hugely popular video game “Grand Theft Auto” says it is not going to jump at a $2 billion buyout offer from Electronic Arts Inc.
At least, not until it takes the boat to Chavez’s island and meets Dominic Cassiel, then does the pizza delivery mission to unlock the Sniper Rifle, then scores at least 80% on the Hang Gliding mission to unlock the armored Ferrari and meet Diana at the bar on Snowy Point.
VANCOUVER, British Columbia (AP)—A farmer convicted of butchering six women and feeding them to his pigs may not go to trial for the 20 other deaths he is charged with, British Columbia’s attorney general said Tuesday.
The attorney general said he is rethinking the case after finding a spider’s web above the pig pen that reportedly displayed the words “Some Maniac”.
Enough Tuesdays... Why would it get so crazy as this. I enjoyed the one about the farmer feeding his pigs six women, well I think it should be feeding six women some pigs. What things they twist. The cheese black market??? And the parmesan cheese ones were insane. Where do you find stuff like this? Do you just randomly go through the internet looking???
Wow, that is hilarious. I mean who would have thought that they could have put together something like this from all over the world? It amazes me how they did that. I wonder if someone sends them the info, or what. I don't think i could do something like this because it would take a lot of time, and i don't have any extra with my schedule.
12 comments:
Mrs. Hansen, is there anything that I CAN'T do? LOL
Very funny too, especially the first one =D
Ashley- when I read these I immediately thought of you!! You would have great fun writing up something like this.
Wow, those are so funny! that would be so fun to have as a job. I mean what would be neater than to have a job where you can twist the press around and print it any way you want? This blog is hillarious! keep posting them! :)
umm...I have no idea because it is blocked and I am at a school computer...but I think I could do something like that....!!:D
Sarah- I looked at it in school. I wonder why it is blocked now????
i have no idea why........you should unblock it!
Oh em gee, it's blocked. =o
Un block please =)
Here it is. I could not unblock it, so I copied and pasted it. Enjoy!!
Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
LONDON (AP)—North Korean officials have invited rock guitarist Eric Clapton to play a concert in the Communist state, a diplomat at the country’s embassy in London said Tuesday.
Clapton will be joined on stage by Kim Jong Il, who, according to an official statement, will be playing drums, bass, rhythm guitar, keyboards, triangle, gong, and making a chocolate souffle while coding a better internet browser and spinning gold from rubber bands.
NEW YORK (AP)—Mark Twain’s “Is He Dead?” is folding after a three-month run.
Looks like the answer is yes.
LOS ANGELES (AP)—With Vanity Fair sitting out this year’s celebrations, the belle of the Oscar parties was a piano playing Elton John.
Over seventy five hours went into training the piano. Attendees described it as charming and most unexpected. The piano will next appear in the West Coast touring company of Spamalot.
LUXEMBOURG (AP)—The European Court of Justice ruled Tuesday that only the tasty, crumbly cheese that has been made for some 800 years near the Italian city of Parma can legally be called Parmesan.
This ruling, coming on the heels of the Philadelphia Cream Cheese Accord of 2007, deals a significant blow to the once-lucrative international cheese black market.
HARARE, Zimbabwe (AP)—U.S. officials said Tuesday that Washington was concerned over “ominous signs” Zimbabwe was unprepared to hold free and fair elections next month.
The press conference was repeatedly interrupted by sixteen Al Gore fans chanting “TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE” over and over again.
LONGYEARBYEN, Norway (AP)—Norway opened a frozen “doomsday” vault Tuesday deep within an Arctic mountain where millions of seeds will be stored to safeguard against wars or natural disasters wiping out food crops around the globe.
Corn will be played by Scarlet Johansson, while the potato will be played by Clint Howard. Doomsday Vault: in theaters Summer 2009.
WASHINGTON (AP)—A former White House computer expert says the e-mail system used by President Bush’s top aides is a “primitive” setup that creates a “high” risk of losing data.
The expert went on to say that, nevertheless, Windows Vista had a wonderful media center built right in, and the translucent window frames were "pretty cool."
LONDON (AP)—Drug-resistant tuberculosis is spreading even faster than medical experts had feared, the World Health Organization warned in report issued Tuesday.
In a related story, the works of the great Russian novelists are selling better than ever.
NEW YORK (AP)—The company behind the hugely popular video game “Grand Theft Auto” says it is not going to jump at a $2 billion buyout offer from Electronic Arts Inc.
At least, not until it takes the boat to Chavez’s island and meets Dominic Cassiel, then does the pizza delivery mission to unlock the Sniper Rifle, then scores at least 80% on the Hang Gliding mission to unlock the armored Ferrari and meet Diana at the bar on Snowy Point.
VANCOUVER, British Columbia (AP)—A farmer convicted of butchering six women and feeding them to his pigs may not go to trial for the 20 other deaths he is charged with, British Columbia’s attorney general said Tuesday.
The attorney general said he is rethinking the case after finding a spider’s web above the pig pen that reportedly displayed the words “Some Maniac”.
oh yes definetly....ashley and i could totally do this....just see us together on this type of stuff...we are crazy!!!
"NEW YORK (AP)—Mark Twain’s “Is He Dead?” is folding after a three-month run."
I looked this one up: It's a play about Twain...who knew?
Enough Tuesdays... Why would it get so crazy as this. I enjoyed the one about the farmer feeding his pigs six women, well I think it should be feeding six women some pigs. What things they twist. The cheese black market??? And the parmesan cheese ones were insane. Where do you find stuff like this? Do you just randomly go through the internet looking???
Wow, that is hilarious. I mean who would have thought that they could have put together something like this from all over the world? It amazes me how they did that. I wonder if someone sends them the info, or what. I don't think i could do something like this because it would take a lot of time, and i don't have any extra with my schedule.
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